


Don't Be Suspicious Don't Don't Be Suspicious

by ChaoticNeutral18



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: And Zev would do anything for Luke, And really wishes the empire wouldn't intercept the supply pickups that have period supplies, Be Gay Be Chaotic, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Everyone is very confused, Gift Fic, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Kevin is the resident bookie of the Lady, Kix got very rich later, Let Luke Say Fuck 2k21, Let Piett Say Fuck 2k21, Luke and Zev: Be Gay Commit Identity Theft, Luke cares about people, Luke would do anything for his fiancé, M/M, One (1) defenestration, That overly nosy coworker ruins so much, The timeline of canon got hitched to the plot of this and are currently on their honeymoon, luke skywalker is a little shit, masquerading as stormtroopers, sorry for any inconviences this may cause
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:41:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28516578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticNeutral18/pseuds/ChaoticNeutral18
Summary: When a double agent makes a trap out of a routine supply pickup, Zev gets captured by the Empire. Luke, as an amazing fiancé, stows away on the ship. Hijinks and Identity theft ensue, and everyone is left fairly confused.
Relationships: Luke Skywalker & Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker/Zevulon Veers, Maximilian Veers & Zevulon Veers
Comments: 6
Kudos: 84





	Don't Be Suspicious Don't Don't Be Suspicious

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tagandtaylor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tagandtaylor/gifts).



> This is a very late christmas gift for my very best friend/sister from another mister in the entire galaxy, @tagandtaylor. Please go check her out! She's an outstanding writer. 
> 
> Tag, you make me laugh and cry and make my life literally a thousand times better. I truly hope you enjoy! 
> 
> (Name is from Parks and Rec)

The room was dark, covered in blaster burns, and the window was swinging open from where Luke Skywalker had just defenestrated the hapless double agent. _Well_ , Luke thought, _that’s what someone who tries to infiltrate the Rouges gets._

He, Zev, and the spy had gone on a small mission to pick up some supplies. As it turned out, the pick up was both a trap _and_ the spy’s extraction, as everyone would think he was captured as well. Which was rude. This supply drop included supplies for monthly cycles for those who needed them. The double agent couldn’t have waited for a less important drop? _Luke cared about people and their needs, so sue him._

Luke began walking back to the ship to meet up with Zev and leave this planet. He was tired and just wanted to curl up with his fiancé and sleep for hours. 

As he neared the ship, he could tell that wasn’t going to happen, seeing as Zev was stunned and being dragged onto an Imperial shuttle at that very moment, with stormTroopers swarming around their ship. 

Well shit.   
__________

Luke kept his breathing as quiet as possible. Sure, sneaking onto the enemy’s shuttle that has ten heavily armed soldiers, and with no back up to rescue one soldier was a stupid idea, but hey, no one said love makes you smart.

At least he could use the force to help hide himself, to muffle any sounds he may inadvertently make.

It was no more than an hour after they left the planet when the ship docked inside a frankly massive hangar bay. The Troopers began talking amongst themselves, and Luke held his breath. 

“Captain, what are we going to do with the Rebel? He’s most likely low level, the supplies on the ship weren't very important, and we never got Agent Habeli back. What will we tell Command?”

“We’ll tell them the truth, that the agent regrettably perished in the line of duty. Agent Habeli was completely dedicated to the Empire, and wouldn’t defect.”

“And the Rebel?”

“We’ll throw him in the brig, then he’s not our problem anymore.”

“Understood. We have to prepare for docking.”

The Troopers dispersed, and Luke let out the breath he’d been holding.   
_Good. They thought he was a regular rebel so they would just use standard procedure._ Luke thought. That would make his job _much_ easier. 

The ship shook as it passed into the hangar, gliding down until it came to a stop on the hangar’s floor. The Troopers began to disembark, taking the still unconscious Zev with them. Luke waited a few minutes before following them, mind tricking anyone he came across. He _despised_ mind tricks, but at this point he had to do what was needed to save his fiancé. 

“Hey! Who are you?”

Ah kriff. He was spotted.

Thinking quickly, he spied a nearby supply closet. He whirled around, and grabbed the unfortunate Trooper, and pulled the both of them into the supply closet, which he hastily opened with the force. Once inside, he knocked the man out, tied him up and put a gag around his mouth, and stole his clothes. Luke changed into the uniform, putting on the . He moved the man to a place deeper in the closet, and marched out looking like a proper Imperial StormTrooper, ready to fight for the continuance of the Empire. Ah, gotta love irony. 

He quickly made his way to the detention level with no more hindrances, and located Zev’s cell. 

Once there, he quickly used the Trooper’s clearance to open the cell, and stepped inside. 

Zev looked _terrible._ The Troopers had clearly used him as a punching bag, even when unconscious. Luke growled to himself, wishing he’d killed those bastards when he’d had the chance. They could’ve done whatever they wanted to him, that’s fine. But doing _this_ to the love of his kriffing life? Hells no. 

Zev groaned, obviously in pain. Luke rushed to him, forgetting that the helmet was still on.

“Get away from me.” Zev said, hurt clear in his voice. 

Luke unlatched his helmet, tossing it away from him. “Hey, hey, it’s just me okay Starlight? I’m here to rescue you.” 

Zev smiled at him, looking extremely dopey. “Best fiancé ever.” 

Actually, he looked _too_ dopey. Did they drug him? Luke pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “I know, but we really have to get going. We don’t have much time before someone will come in here.”

At that very moment, the door slid open, and an officer and a Trooper came in, an interrogator droid right behind him. Luke repeated his movements from before, and knocked the two out. Luke took the controller for the droid from the officer’s limp hand, turned the droid off and smashed the machine. Luke then used the key he found in the officer’s pocket to unlock the stun cuffs around Zev’s wrists. He took them and cuffed the officer to the wall. He left the   
Trooper bound on the floor with the very supplies he’d had with him, without his armor. 

“Here Zev”, he turned to the other man and handed him the pilfered armor, “change into these, and then we can get going.” 

“Anything for you babe!”

Luke cringed. _Definitely_ drugged then. They both hated that term, and never ever called each other that. 

He sighed and resigned himself to covering for both himself and his currently drugged-out-of-this-galaxy fiancé until they could make their escape. Which would hopefully begin momentarily.

Now, to make sure his father never caught wind that he was here……  
__________

It had been an hour since he’d broken Zev out of the cell before alarms began ringing and Troopers began filling the hallways, ostensibly looking for them. Luke and Zev blended in with the hundreds of other white armor-clad soldiers, which allowed them to make it quite far without interruption. 

“Troopers! What are you doing, there’s Rebels loose. Go to the Bridge for further instructions! Now!” An officer yelled, pointing at the two when they tried to turn down the corridor to the hangar. 

_Shit._ Luke cringed under his helmet. _They were so close!_ “Sir yes sir.” He snapped a quick salute, and turned to go to the bridge, resolving to just go in for a moment before turning back to the hangar. 

Unfortunately, the officer seemed determined to make sure they did the ‘right thing’, following them to the bridge, not letting them out of his sight. 

_Well fuck_. Luke thought to himself. He and Zev had no choice but to follow the masses to the bridge, and hope that they’ll be able to get away quickly. 

Welp. Off to the place where they have the highest probability of getting caught, and where both of their fathers most likely are. Joy.  
__________

On the bridge, the lovers tried to blend in as much as possible. At this point, it had been about two and a half hours since the ship had docked, and the drugs in Zev’s system had nearly worn off. Luke wished he could communicate with him, but they couldn’t afford to be overheard now. They were right in the rancor’s den and had to be on high alert for the right moment to slip away. 

After about five minutes, the officer that had been watching them went back to his own duties, and they could finally begin to get back to the hangar. They began walking as inconspicuously as possible back into the corridor leading to the hangar. Luke looked back at Zev for a moment to make sure he was alright, and walked directly into someone. 

As he looked up at Darth Vader’s infamous mask a year after he saw it last, the only thing he could think was apparently the saying of the day: _Well shit._

As the bridge quieted with everyone bracing for an execution, Zev grabbed Luke’s shoulder and tried to pull him away and into the corridor. “Well, he’s very sorry milord, but we do really need to get going”, he said quickly while walking Luke out, “again, very sorr-” 

Vader held the two aloft in the air with the force. “Be careful where you are walking next time Trooper”, the vocoder rumbled out, “I will not be so lenient next time.”

Vader dropped them unceremoniously onto the floor, and in the process Luke’s helmet unlatches and falls to the ground. 

Vader, Luke, Zev, and everyone else on the bridge _freeze._

“Uhhhhhh…..hi Father?” Luke said unassuredly as he quickly got up, helmet forgotten on the floor and began to run off the bridge, Zev on his heels. “Bye Father!” 

As they made their escape off the bridge, everyone else was still in shock, including Vader, who was reaching towards the spot Luke had been.

“What the _fuck_ ” said a thouroghly confused Admiral Piett.   
__________

Luke and Zev made it off the bridge, but only a few corridors from the hangar, they ran into trouble. At some point during their escape, Luke had nicked yet another Trooper’s helmet, and was fully hidden again. 

“Why aren’t you on the bridge!” 

Yeah, running into the same officer that made them go on the bridge in the first place was decidedly _not_ in the (admittedly spontaneous) plan. 

“Lord Vader has ordered all Troopers to get orders from the bridge for the search for the Rebels, one of which is reportedly Luke Skywalker. The hangar is being closed off to keep them on the ship, so get to the bridge!”  
 _Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck_ Luke recited mentally. This was _definitely_ not in the plan. 

“We’ll head to the bridge immediately sir. Thank you for informing us.” Zev pulled Luke back with him, “I was escorting him from the infirmary, and he’s still slightly discombobulated. Apologies!”

As they got farther and farther from the disagreeable man, Zev took his chance to whisper to Luke. “What are we going to do? If the hangars are closed down, where can we go? We can’t go back to the bridge, your dad is there and I saw mine as well.” 

“....I don’t know Zev. We might have to give ourselves up. I don’t think my father will harm me, and probably won’t hurt you if I tell him who you are to me.”

“Are you sure?”

“You know how much I hate this, I would literally rather go through another Rouges-against-all-other-squadrons prank war again then this. But we’re trapped, and I don’t think we have any other choice.”

“Ugh. You’re right.” 

__________

Barely anyone noticed when two Troopers entered the bridge, everyone still shocked and/or searching for Skywalker. But they did notice when one of them approached Lord Vader, which was basically a death sentence when he was this agitated. 

Vader also spotted the Trooper coming towards him, and was about to snap at him, before he removed his helmet and suddenly the face of his son was looking at him. 

“I will surrender myself if you promise not to harm my companion.” Luke said softly, looking up into the dark eyes of the mask. 

“If you do so, I promise that no harm will come to them.”

Luke sighed, and looked back at Zev, who nodded slowly. 

“We accept”, Luke said as he handed his lightsaber to Vader. 

“I’m glad you finally saw sense, your companion will be taken to a set of empty quarters for the time being.”

“No! I apologize, but I’m staying with Luke”, Zev butted in, unwilling to be separated from his fiancé. 

Vader looked at him. “Who are you to question my authority?”

“Z, don’t-”

Ignoring Luke, Zev took off his helmet. “I am Zevulon Veers, and your son’s fiancé.”

Off to the side of the bridge, a man made his way through the crowd. “Zev?” he whispered. 

Zev smiled. “Hey dad.”

“As touching of a moment as this is, you are my son’s _what_?” Cut in Vader, who was looking between his son and the Veerses. 

Luke sighed. “Yes Father, we’re engaged. And can we please do this somewhere else? Everyone’s staring at us, though I can’t blame them.”

Vader looked around, and saw that yes, they were the object of the entire bridge’s gaze. 

“If _any_ of you attempt to tell anyone else about this, your families will be receiving a death certificate. Admiral Piett, you have the bridge.”

“Yes sir.” Piett snapped a salute, though he was just as confused as the rest. 

“Luke, General, younger Veers, follow me.” 

As the quartet left the bridge, a solitary voice chimed out. 

“Soooooo…….did anyone have any money on Skywalker being Vader’s kid?”

“KEVIN!”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed the story!
> 
> If you have any questions about anything or just want to chat, my tumblr is @youngcreativenerdgoddess. 
> 
> Stay safe, wear a mask, and HAPPY 20- _FUCKING_ -21 BITCHES!!!!!! WE MADE IT!!!!


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